Mango and Cherry

Here's the thing: God can supply a master welder upon prayer in California, but I still refuse to allow Him to work in me because I can't be bothered to concentrate. Truly, I am an idiot.

My N-CLEX is in a little over 24 hours and I'm finally starting to feel some of the panic I've been waiting weeks for. Of course, I haven't even wanted to mention it to anyone for fear that if I DO fail, then I'll have to tell all those people I asked for prayer and support that, well, crud, guess what happened?

God can do amazing things - correction: He DOES amazing things, but I know that, at least from looking over my own life, He expects some participation in the deal. This time around with studying enough? I kind of sat it out, bit the big one, warmed the bench a little too long, basically... yeah, now I'm finally getting nervous. There has been studying done, particularly over medications, but now I'm wishing I'd found a Kaplan course around here that could have prepared me for the test style itself, not just the content.

Though when I look over notes, all those studies over the last couple of years start to creep back into my brain. I'm glad to have reminded myself, but it's good to know that the knowledge is still hidden in there. I just really, really need to be able to dredge it up during a (potentially) six hour exam.

I just keep shooting myself in the foot, you know? Wish someone would take the weapon out of my hands already, or at least remind me to put it down before I hurt myself again.